And yes, I want you to look at these pictures after you read my last blog. 

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Del Martin was born in 1921. Phyllis Lion was born in 1924. They met in 1950. They became lovers in 1952. They moved in together in 1953. They got married in 2008. They had been together 56 years before they could say “I do”. They were married for less than two months, until Del Martin passed away. 

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Britney Spears was born in 1981. I don’t know when Jason Allen Alexander was born, doesn’t matter. They met when they were children. They were together for three drunk hours before they got married in 2004. They were married for 55 hours, until they sobered up. 

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And you dare tell me that Britney and her partner deserved the marriage more than Del and Phyllis? You dare tell me that that marriage was more sacred?

gay marriages

For those of you who don’t know this, I’m gay. For those of you who are ignorant enough (sorry if it’s offending you), you can call yourself gay even if you are a homosexual girl. So, I am a homosexual girl. 

Therefore, homosexual marriages are an issue for me. 

My straight friends ask me why. Why don’t me and my girlfriend just move in together and live as a couple. Why don’t we take care of all the things such as heritage and hospital visits legally, cause we can? Why do we have to get married? It’s just a piece of paper, they say. 

And I totally agree. It IS just a piece of paper. I CAN just move in with her. I CAN take care of all the legal stuff. I probably even will. I don’t need a piece of paper to prove our love. So I try to explain to them. I am not fighting to get married. It’s not what all those debates about gay marriages are. I am fighting for THE RIGHT to get married. I am fighting so I would have THE CHOICE whether I want to get married or not. 

I don’t want to get married. Not if were straight, nor if the law said I could. But I would LOVE not marrying to be MY choice. 

… 

I was amazed by this. So in my country, I can’t get married to a girl. Since I’m a girl. So the bad thing in my country is that I DO NOT have the right to get married. 
However, in California, they brought a law which allowed gays to get married. And then a bunch of … I’m not even gonna say it. But then it was taken away from them. Now… So it’s not that they don’t have the right to get married, as I don’t, but that right was TAKEN AWAY from them! 

How absurd is that?!? We live in the 21 century. And there is a person in California whose RIGHT TO BE EQUAL was taken away! 

…

And what’s even worse… The ads?!? Can you really make an ad about taking someone’s right away, and show it on TV?!? What kind of person should you be to actually show your face there?!? You can’t tell me you did not see the faces on that 70 year old lesbian couple the day they got married after being together for 50 years, you can’t tell me you didn’t smile. 

The ads… I see an African American woman, telling me to forbid a girl from across the street to marry her girlfriend. Has this woman forgotten that if she lived just 50 years ago and wanted to marry a Caucasian man, she would not be able to?!? And you’d say it’s not the same. No, it’s not. Not now, this woman HAS the right to marry him now. But it was “just as bad” then. People DID make adds against it, people DID vote against it. How blind is she?!? How selfish?!?



I DO take this personally. Not cause I’m gay. I don’t want to get married. But cause I am human. 

Cheating – love or lust?

 
 Does it count as cheating if you make out with someone whose name you don’t know, while you’re drunk? Does it count as cheating if you make out with your best friend? Does it count as cheating if you kiss a girl while your boyfriend is in the next room, or if you think of your girlfriend’s best friend while masturbating?
 What exactly does count as cheating? And who decided that it does?


 My opinion… To cheat means something more than lust, something more than a pure physical act. To cheat is to lie. Simple. To cheat is to say “I love you” when you don’t mean it, to say “I care about you” when you wish you’d be saying it to someone else. To cheat is to lie in your bed, hugging her, “the love of your life”, holding her tight, and to think of someone else. To cheat is to wake up thinking of her best friends, to go to bed thinking of someone you can’t have. 

 Relationship are based on love. Why can’t cheating be? Why is it that if I kiss a girl, just a kiss, just cause I wanted to kiss someone and you weren’t there, I am a cheater, but if I love a girl, and I’m ready to give my whole heart and soul to her instead of you, but I’ve never even touched her, I’m not? 


 I was sitting with two friends today. One of them has a boyfriend. She loves him. However, she kissed a girl last week. Just made out. The other one, she has a boyfriend too. She loves him. She said she loves a girl too. She can love both, she said. 

 And this is what I don’t get. How come everyone in the room thought the first one is a cheater? Even though she only kissed the girl cause she liked her, cause she wanted to kiss someone, cause maybe it was nice. And how come noone in the room even thought that what the other one said is really what relationship is about?!? She LOVES someone else. She doesn’t make out with somebody else, true, she doesn’t sleep with her, true, but she THINKS about her, she probably DREAMS about her, she probably wishes she was holding her while holding him.  
 Just… Just try to get in those guys’ shoes. What would hurt you more? To find out she kissed someone else or to find out she loves someone else? 


 
 I’ve spoken about this with so many friends. I know, my definition of cheating is not… Not what fits in everyone’s mind. But I know, if I love her, I could forgive a kiss. I could forgive sex. I would forgive sex. I could never forgive loving someone else. It’s… A kiss would hurt my pride. A love would hurt my feelings. See the difference?


 I’ve only been “cheated on” once. Well, once that I know of. So maybe I’m not the one to talk. But I’ve “cheated” a lot. And I have been the one they’ve “cheated” with. And I only felt bad once. Just once. When I knew she loved me, and not her. 

instead of a welcome note...

you never expect life to throw you so far off plan,
  that you turn around, 
and everything, everything you wanted is gone... and then there's 
  nothing left to lose.
so you make a decission, to take a risk 
  on something 
you didn't even know was there, that you can't help but 
  go for it!
and stop worrying about what 
  everyone thinks of you...
doesn't matter... forget them, 
  stay true to yourself!
you can't help who you love, so just 
  open your heart..
and listen... and let it take you wherever it wants to go!